TeamChug is Vine’s Original and Elite Drinking Team, and is here to offer you an exclusive look into beers from around the world, enjoyed from original members from around the world. We will sample (read as “chug”) beers, and give you an average rating so you know whether a beer is worth buying or if it’s a pint of shit. What you will find here: A quick review for the every day beer drinker who wants the low down dirty truth as quickly as possible. What you won’t find: Long wordy fancy reviews with words like “lacing” and “nose”. We don’t have time for that shit, we’ve got drinking to do. Cheers!
CHUG Rating System:
We vow to introduce, chug, and rate a beer within 6 seconds, or your money back. Our rating (score blurted or belched out at the end of a chug) is simply one field of our overall rating system. Although it’s arguably the most important rating, we like to give you a bit more information. Here is a breakdown of our system.
Chuggability is exactly what it sounds like. Some beers go down easy, others are a struggle that we thoroughly enjoy. If it goes down smooth and we could do another right away, look for a near “10” score in this category. If it was a bitch who was screaming and kicking all the way down, something closer to a “1” is more realistic.
How Much: 1-10
Not all manufacturers feel their beers are valued the same as others. This is apparent when horrible beer is priced at $14.99 per 6-pack. What we like to portray with this score is value. $9.99 could score a beer a “10” if it’s an amazing beer, but it could land a beer closer to a “1” if the beer tastes like dumpster water.
Uhhh… Taste: 1-10
Oh yeah, this is what we’re all looking for. The true rating of a great beer comes down to the taste. All other aspects seem to fall to the back burner if a brew tastes like it was crafted in the heavens and delivered by an angel riding a unicorn. Straight forward here, “1” was poured from a waste water treatment facility, “10” was crafted by a higher power and we’re lucky to be in its presence.
Where can you find this stuff?! Unfortunately, not all of the amazing beers we sample are available in every corner store in the world. Lucky for you, we’ll let you know where these brews are distributed. A “1” will most likely only be available at a specialty brewpub or specific region (if it scores a 10 on the “Uhhh…Taste Category, be prepared to buy a plane ticket). A “10” will be available everywhere you look, everywhere you go, in your dreams, and on all shelves… hopefully it gets a good taste score!
PoopThoughts grew up in a small town in Iowa, which means he didn’t have anything to do in high school but drink Busch Light and drive through corn fields. He spent 4 1/2 years (shut up, college is hard) at the University of Iowa, where there were fewer corn fields, but more Busch light. This is where he learned the art of the chug. Whether it’s flippy-cup, boat races, beer-pong or Beirut, he found that chugging is an important part of competitive drinking games and therefore, an important part of life. After graduation, faced with the very real possibility of having to get a serious job, he decided to pack up all his wordly belongings (3 t-shirts and a box of coozies) and move to Vail, where as everyone knows, the beer flows like wine. Think: college, minus schoolwork.
After 2 years of ski-bumming and then a couple of years overseas, he came back to Colorado and discovered craft beer. Cue Disney song: “It’s a Whole New World.” He’s an IPA man now. He has a tattoo on his inner thigh that says “Hops or Die.” And just because his affinity for Busch has subsided, doesn’t mean his chugging ability has gone with it. He believes in drinking adult beer, but not drinking it like an adult.
Silver Medal – 2004 Denver Beer Olympics
Gold Medal -2008 Denver Beer Olympics
Homebrews32 is a kid from the charming city of Boston, MA. He grew up nearby, enjoys all Boston sports, and loves amazing Craft Beer. A UMass Amherst graduate, he spent 4 years building up his tolerance with some of the best damn drinkers in the country. Though his drink of choice was rum and coke, he did gain an interest in quality beer. Realizing that the beer culture was vast and interesting as hell, he decided to brew his own. He’s been brewing on his own since early 2010. Some of his creations would rate high up on the “Uhhh…Taste” scale, and some shouldn’t be consumed by anybody ever.
As a dude who went to a “Party School”, you’d think he’d be inclined to only be pounding Keystone and Busch. While that was fine while it lasted, he’s now primed and ready (and excited) to be pounding delicious, full bodied beer, full of hops and amazingness.
He once downed 24 beers in 12 hours, and followed it up with a victory lap to the nearest bar for one more.